The me I am now has also spent a lot of my years learning how to be happy in my own skin and accepting heartbreak as a natural part of this being human experience. In fact, that may be my biggest and truest accomplishment so far, making it to 51 and finding that I’m a pretty good egg, inside and out, lovable and full of love, even in my broken places…..so what, if my arms are middle aged and it takes just the right angle to hide my propensity for a double chin, I have survived a lot and my smile is more genuine now than it ever was when I was young and hopeful. But I fear that in the process of getting here, I’ve loved myself into a corner where I can only maintain equilibrium if I keep quiet, contained, and primarily self sufficient. And this is not the life I want for the remainder of my years, dare I say, the second half of my life.